This is my most favorite photo from my wedding. It was the one photo I had to have, and I love how it turned out.
I learned so at Rich, Happy, Hot Live over the weekend. I heard an amazing man named Simon Sinek speak about why we do what we do, and how our ‘why’ impacts our business and life so much. I left NYC refreshed and inspired by his words, that’s why I’m writing this post today.
I apologize in advance for how long it is, I poured my heart onto the pages of my notebook on my flight home, I was so in my zone and I don’t want to edit anything that I wrote down because I wrote it from a place of vulnerability and truth. To skip the story and get to the point of it all, just scroll to the end and read.
So here is my story, here is my ‘why.’
I hope it helps you understand why I want to help you with your big day.
I got engaged.
I was terrified.
At the time I was working 2 jobs, going to school, doing design work on the side and renovating our house. My fiancee and I didn’t have a ton a money in the bank and most of what we did have he spent on my ring.
I loved him with all my heart, but I believe that marriage is for life and I was so young – was he really my chosen one? Did I really know who I was? Would we survive?
After the initial shock of being someone’s fiancee, I got right to work planning. The first thing I started with was getting the big decisions out of the way: the date, the venue and the caterer.
And that was frustrating. Trying to get every one of our dream vendors to commit on the same day. And because our parents were contributing money, they had a say in some of what we did.
And choosing the wedding party was a disaster. I fought with my family about the wedding party. I fought with Justin about the wedding party, and that turned into a fight about the size of the wedding. And that’s another story for another day.
When I started to plan the details, I never realized there were so many decisions to make and so many options. Frankly, I didn’t care about half of the decisions I was making either. You get to a certain point in planning where you don’t really care if you have chocolate cake or dark chocolate cake, just make one and make sure it’s there on my wedding day. As long as every task on my planning list had a checkmark next to it, I was okay.
I noticed three main times that stressed me out: just engaged and finding a date and vendors, getting the guest list and invites out on time and the week before the big day. Those three times were overwhelming. I was terrified that things were not going to get done, and I was certain I was going to forget something.
The week before the wedding, I had multiple breakdowns. I was not pleasant to be around (contrary to what my family says) and I was a total control freak. I was super irritated with how my mom and sister were assembling my centerpieces. I did not want my mom tying any more bows. It came to the point where I couldn’t handle it anymore, so I just finished everything myself. Like I said – control freak.
The rehearsal dinner came and I was trying to finish up all of the last minute stuff. After dinner, my mom and sister left to run errands, my maid of honor wasn’t in town yet, and Justin left to spend the night at his parent’s house so we wouldn’t see each other before the ceremony.
I sat down on the couch in my living room, took a deep breath and just bawled my eyes out. I was a totally alone and couldn’t deal with it. I sobbed and sobbed (tears are coming to my eyes just writing this!). I was completely exhausted – being a control freak had totally stressed me out and I felt like I had been a horrible daughter, sister, friend and fiancee.
I had no clue what to do with myself, and as a total last resort, I called my dad.
Now, if you know Lyman, you know he is a very practical man. Growing up he always told us to quit our blubbering because it just made us look guilty. But in this moment, he just listened to me quietly and talked me through my mental breakdown. He reassured me that everything would be okay, and at that moment I knew it would be.
My wedding day did not go without fault, but for as much of a control freak as I had been, it was okay. In fact, the little things that did go wrong ended up not bothering me at all. Those little imperfections fell away, I was married to my best friend. People had an amazing time, and I made it through to the other side with a partner for life. Perfection, right?
Looking back at the pictures, I realized I could have done more to incorporate my style and personality in my day. With a few more custom decorations, my venue would have come alive with my style. I see that now.
I was in such a whirlwind planning my day, it was so hard to look past the ‘now’ and into the future.
My wish: I wish I wouldn’t have been so controlling and had asked for help.
And this is where you come in.
I know it’s how hard it is to plan the biggest and best day of your life. I know it’s not easy to stay cool and collected throughout the engagement, and I know how hard it is to delegate tasks, ask for help and let go of control.
But I’m telling you, you can do it.
That’s the reason that Oh, What Love exists. I can help you. Whether you want advice, ideas or help designing and building your perfect day, I have the tools and knowledge to help you have a less stressful, fewer-breakdown wedding planning experience. I care about the details, and I understand your desire to have things done perfectly.
I’m not saying it will be easy, and I’m not saying there won’t be tears and at least a few fights. But I’m here to help you, all you have to do is ask 🙂